Fiscally Prudent

Taking money right out of our pockets

fiscallyprudent — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 16:57:07 +0000

The new ruling regime is proposing that the 401k be abolished in favor of government controlled universal savings accounts that would be similar to social security — you know, because the government has done such a great job managing that.

What a surprise. Yawn.

fiscallyprudent — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 18:06:23 +0000

Terrorists specifically targeting Americans in Mumbay? I thought that with president elect Barry Bahama representing the United States, all anti-American sentiment would stop.

So much for confidence in our great savior

fiscallyprudent — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:11:41 +0000

In the 16 days since the presidential election, the Dow Jones Industrial Avergae has dropped about 1600 points.

That’s a zero before the decimal point

fiscallyprudent — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:45:16 +0000

It’s interesting that Joe Biden feels the need to lecture us all on the merits of compassion, when the largest amount of charitable contributions he’s ever made in a given tax year is 0.7 percent of income.

On board with the new regime

fiscallyprudent — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 15:41:13 +0000

In honor of Ayatollah Obama, the National Football League has agreed to begin the policy of taking points away from high scoring teams, and evenly distributing them to lower scoring teams. If they do it correctly, every game will end in a tie.

The correct answer wins a free membership to the DNC

fiscallyprudent — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 15:36:01 +0000

Here’s a quick trivia question for you:

Name either the period in history or the country in which communism has worked?

Give up? It’s a trick question. The correct answer is that it has always worked, and now we’re finally trying it here in America because we’re so damned stubborn.

Sign of things to come?

fiscallyprudent — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 17:53:14 +0000

It’s three hours after the start of trading, and the DJIA is down over 300 points. So much for the election boost the media has been spouting off about for the past month.

“There’s some consideration to be had with the impact of the election.”

fiscallyprudent — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 17:27:14 +0000

As people scramble to find ways of dealing with 2009′s inevitable tax hikes, Major League Baseball GM’s are trying to stay ahead of the game by paying out signing bonuses before January 1st, in which case they likely would be taxed at the current rate and would not be subject to a tax increase. Free agents can’t start negotiating money with all teams until November 14th, so there’s going to be a rush for players to get signed before the end of the year. Scott Boras (agent for Manny Ramirez) is making a push for large signing bonuses, paid immediately, in lieu of bigger contract money over the course of the deal. “There’s some consideration to be had with the impact of the election,” Boras said. No kidding.

White Voters

fiscallyprudent — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 17:14:05 +0000

Having heard it on hundreds of occasions during political coverage over the past several months, the offensive term “white voters,” has worn thin on me during this new era where we have all been blown by the winds of change. Please, from now on, refer to me as a European American voter. Thank you.

A mandate against Bush? Not really.

fiscallyprudent — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 16:47:30 +0000

George Bush’s numbers from the 2004 election:
States carried: 31
Popular Vote: 62,040,610

Barry Obama’s numbers from the 2008 election:
States carried: 27
Popular Vote: 62,682,786

Content is on its way

fiscallyprudent — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 16:19:14 +0000

With the country on its way into the toilet, it seems like the perfect time to resurrect FiscallyPrudent.com. Shut your mouth, pay attention, and maybe you’ll do a little better next time.

Jimmy Carter II

fiscallyprudent — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 15:52:48 +0000

Congrats Barry, we’re all looking forward to watching your impotent socialist policies collapse under the practical reality of a capitalist populace. Now that the democrats have swung the pendulum so far to the left, they should be advised that it will eventually swing back just as far in the opposite direction. Personally, I can’t wait to see the winds of change blow up America’s skirt, but not for the same reasons as the Blowbama zealots. As usual, I never look at any situation without asking myself how I can benefit personally from it, and the upside is that there are going to be plenty of broken pieces to pick up over the new few years. Good times.

Desperate act of a scoundrel

fiscallyprudent — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:12:40 +0000

Warner Music Group is proposing a new “music tax” — a plan where consumers would pay a monthly fee bundled into their internet-service bill in exchange for access to a database of music. The rapidly dissapearing recording industry has been crippled by the lack of CD sales because of online music downloads. The problem is, Warner Music doesn’t want the music tax to be optional, forcing everyone that pays for internet access to pay for music downloads they may or may not want. In related news, I’ve devised a new business plan similar to Warner’s proposal, where I go downtown and smash up the stores of local merchants until they agree to pay me for “protection.” It’s pretty much the same idea, except more humane, since my business doesn’t involve forcing people to listen to Jennifer Blopez and Fifty Cents.

One down; 9000 to go

fiscallyprudent — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 16:49:46 +0000

Another hedge fund, London-based Peloton Partners, has begun shutting down due to severe losses from unwise investments in the U.S housing and credit markets. Hedge funds, which are mostly unregulated, make money (or apparently, lose money — and any decline in hedge fund performance is amplified by their usually excessive fees) by taking large risks on speculative strategies. As a result, they revel in market volatility, which provides them with more opportunities to buy and sell. Wondering why equity markets behave like teenage girls at the first hint of bad news? Now you know.

Hussein

fiscallyprudent — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 16:20:32 +0000

Hey Obama, is that a bomb in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

The Art of War

fiscallyprudent — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 20:33:36 +0000

Ten pearls of wisdom from The Art of War by Sun Tsu:
1. All warfare is based on deception.
2. Know the enemy and know yourself, and you can fight a hundred battles with no danger of defeat.
3. Making no mistakes is what establishes the certainty of victory.
4. When the enemy is at ease, he is able to tire him; when well fed, to starve him; when at rest, to make him move. All these can be done because you appear at points which the enemy must hasten to defend.
5. The spot where we intend to fight must not be made known.
6. Do not press a desperate enemy too hard.
7. He who lacks foresight and underestimates his enemy will surely be captured by him.
8. The general who advances without coveting fame and retreats without fearing disgrace, whose only purpose is to protect his people and promote the best interests of his sovereign, is the precious jewel of the state.
9. Speed is the essence of war. Take advantage of the enemy’s unpreparedness, make your way by unexpected routes, and attack him where he has taken no precautions.
10. With regard to the matter of war, the enlightened ruler is prudent, and the good general is full of caution.

Valentine’s Day

fiscallyprudent — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 20:24:52 +0000

Yes, Valentine’s Day. Gentlemen, today is one day you can suspend your fiscal prudence, that is if you have a wife or girlfriend. You’re going to have to spend enough cash on her to boost the self esteem that decades of half-ass parenting and second-rate public education tore down. So forget the budget for a few hours and show her she’s important to someone.

Super Bowl (betting) time

fiscallyprudent — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 20:30:19 +0000

Since the outcome of the Super Bowl is a foregone conclusion in the opinion of many (and has been since August), most of those in the sports betting public will be more concerned with who beats the point spread than who wins the game. With several billion dollars likely to be bet on the game, odds-makers will be left with the task of finding a number that will bring in some action on the Giants. The opening line came out with the Patriots as 14 point favorites, and has since dropped slightly. With the heaviest bets coming the Friday and Saturday before the game, the line will move around a little as game-time nears. Heavy betting action on New England will raise the number of points they have to cover by; more action on the Giants will reduce the number of points they are allowed to lose by.

My pick for who wins the game? Nobody cares. What really matters? The money, of course. Take the Giants and the points.

FBI Deadbeats

fiscallyprudent — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 17:37:54 +0000

An Associated Press story in the WSJ today details how, due to delinquent payments, telephone companies frequently cut off FBI wiretaps used to spy on whomever the feds are trying to harass. In one office alone, unpaid costs for wiretaps totaled $66,000. Better yet, unpaid bills have resulted in telecom carriers disconnecting lines used to deliver surveillance results, which has resulted in lost evidence (evidence that was probably going to be be used to prosecute some old lady who missed a line on her tax return, or a college kid that drove across state lines with an quarter-ounce of marijuana). Nice going, guys. It’s not bad enough you dropped the ball on 9/11, now you can’t pay your phone bill? No problem! “Evidence” doesn’t matter in Federal cases anyway! Just tie the “suspects” to the railroad tracks and fire up the train…business as usual.

Big “News” about BOA and Countrywide

fiscallyprudent — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 21:29:51 +0000

I’m not complaining that the DJIA closed the session up 117. However, after the market flops around like a dead fish all morning, after Bernanke gave another one of his deer-in-the-headlights speeches, at about 2pm Fox Business and CNBC decide to “break” the news that the Wall Street Journal reported that Bank of America is in talks to buy Countrywide. Great. The Dow immediately shoots up a hundred points, Countrywide stock goes up almost 80% in ten minutes. Now, if you weren’t following this as it happened, what’s wrong with this picture? Right. The Wall Street Journal is a newspaper. Newpapers are delivered by 6:00am. I read the Wall Street Journal Story at 8:00am and acted on it accordingly (and by the way, it wasn’t exactly tucked in the back pages of the WSJ, either). Why didn’t the traders move on it until five hours into the trading session, when the CNBC and Fox finally reported it? Again, I’m not complaining. The soon-to-be acquired company’s stock price almost always goes up when the rumor is announced. Buy the rumor, sell the fact. Anyone who jumped on the stock when they read the story profited handsomely today. The rest of the dopes out there didn’t. My advice to you? Read the Wall Street Journal. Judging by this afternoon, the traders don’t. They just watch the pretty pictures on TV. There’s always money to be made from the stupidity of others.

“Sin” Stocks

fiscallyprudent — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 18:15:31 +0000

In the bear market of 2000-2002, the benchmark S&P 500 lost 47% of its value. During the same period, Casinos and gaming stocks gained 115%. The largest tobacco company, Phillip Morris (Now Altria) doubled, and Anheiser Busch gained 87%. Why? Because in bad times, people drink more, smoke more and gamble more. In a slowing economy, or a recession, these stocks will still be good bets. Vice Fund, a mutual fund that invests in primarily in alcohol, tobacco and defense stocks, gained 21% in 2007, compared to about a 5% gain for S&P 500. When things go bad, turn to alcohol and tobacco — the stocks I mean. Leave the actual substances to the many, many people who use them as a crutch.

Saving the planet, making money, and being a good guy (sort of)

fiscallyprudent — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 19:43:37 +0000

In a prior post, I may have implied I didn’t care about energy consumption, greenhouse gases, etc. And yes, that’s somewhat true…but that doesn’t mean there’s not a pile of money to be made in the alternative energy industry. With oil prices at all time highs, global warming panic, and emerging technologies to extract energy, investing in alternative energy companies is looking better and better. Trouble is, many of the companies are fairly new, have shaky earnings, are highly speculative, or all of the above. A solution is the usually pointless ETF (Exchange Traded Fund), which is useful in some instances, for example, to get some exposure to the volatile far East, or in this case, grab the entire alternative energy index instead just a few shaky alternative energy stocks for a stock portfolio. Of course, you’d probably be better served buy buying shares of a mutual fund that invests a portion of its assets in alt. energy instead of trying to piece together a portfolio of individual stocks and ETF’s, but that’s a topic for another day. The message today? Even if you don’t give a shit about an issue philosophically, you can still participate in the cause if there’s money to be made there. Just don’t tell anyone why you’re really doing what you’re doing and you might even come across as a really good guy. There’s nothing wrong with people perceiving you as a nice guy, just don’t base your decisions on the image. Nice guys don’t get paid.

Lightbulbs. Also, Social Security is going broke.

fiscallyprudent — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 16:41:45 +0000

Not that I care about saving energy or any of that, but I do care about saving money. Along those lines, consider that replacing incandescent light bulbs with fluorescent bulbs could result in saving some cash over the long term. How? Even though the purchase price of a fluorescent bulb is typically 3 to 10 times greater than that of an equivalent incandescent, the average life of the fluorescent is between 8 and 15 times greater than that of incandescents. In addition, more saving can be realized with the lower energy usage of fluorescents. A 13-watt compact fluorescent bulb will replace a 60-watt incandescent bulb, a 23-watt fluorescent bulb does the same as 75 watts of incandescent, etc. Start saving now, pal. If no action is taken to modernize the Social Security system, S.S. trustees estimate OASDHI principal will be exhausted by 2042. Considering that of Americans over the age of 65 depend on OASDHI benefits for 40% of their income, and it is the only source of income for 20% of seniors, if you haven’t started saving for retirement yet, do it now. You’re going to need it someday.

Even monkeys have to pay for sex sometimes

fiscallyprudent — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 20:33:51 +0000

A recent study conducted in Singapore indicates that male macaque (yes, it’s pronounced how you think it is) monkeys “pay” for sex by grooming females. Much the same as any product or service , the value of monkey sex is affected by supply and demand. A male macaque would likely spend more time grooming a female if there were fewer females in the area. This goes a long way towards proving my theory that monkeys are more adaptable than most humans.

Old, Old Mutual Funds

fiscallyprudent — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 19:19:59 +0000

With the way I hammer away at emerging markets being investment playgrounds, you might think that small foreign markets are a new fad. Well, consider this: The first diversified managed funds were formed in the United Kingdom in 1868, which is about 65 years before the first mutual funds appeared in America. What did the British funds hold 140 years ago? I’m glad you asked. Securities from all over the world, including the emerging markets of the day, Argentina, Chile, and Egypt, among others. Emerging markets. Get some.